Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I skipped work to stalk him.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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