The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
