they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
