I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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