who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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