I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
