I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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