Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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