On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Even the bartender felt bad for me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
