She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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