Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like I'm in dance class right now

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(914): View more from New York

saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.

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(831): View more from California

you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.

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(518): View more from New York

Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox

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