If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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