I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You may now shotgun with the bride
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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