One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
sex in a hospital.. check
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
