If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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