My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
