you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
