So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
