yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
