im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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