I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
