she woke up with a sticky ear
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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