you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
