I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
