i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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