I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
