I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
