i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
