its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
