So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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