I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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