I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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