We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
