We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm having to shit out rocks
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