Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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