You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
