NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
