i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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