I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
