Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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