Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize