The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize