He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
