gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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