A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
