only you would photoshop your dick
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
