Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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