all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Let's get the cat blown out
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
