i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
