Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
