did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
