Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize