Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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