was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
