If that was your dad, he is hot
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
