Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
