i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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