She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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