I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
