its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
