i would punch a child for taco bell
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
