Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
