He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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