I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize